They're Here!

I've been so busy since the boys were born that I haven't had time to post anything about them here.

Oh no - they are awake so this will have to wait again.

In brief:
2 boys: Tyler Parris Bartel & Hunter Daniel Bartel
Born: August 10, 2006 at 9:01 and 9:02 PM respectively
Method; C-section, after 5 days of run around by the BC Health care system... waiting for sufficient staff to start pitocin drip to continue inducement of labour. Don't get me started on this story.
The boys are great & well & thriving.

and crying.

bye for now!

Three Days Left...

We are rapidly approaching the end of the world as we know it... Yes, in 3 short days, I will be induced and will give birth to two rugrats, drastically changing EVERYTHING about my life from that moment forward. People ask me if we are ready. My response - how can we possible know? We think we are, but are you ever really?

I am partly excited about the turn my life is about to take, but probably more anxious and nervous than anything else. Here's my list of things I'm anxious about, in no particular order:

1. Labour - I'm being induced which i've heard means more intense contractions. There's a certain amount of fear in that.
2. Delivery - I really don't want to have a c-section but I've also heard that being induced increases your chance of a c-section b/c labour may not progress and there will come a point where babies will be stressed. PLUS, I'll be in the OR already (double set up) so it will be easier for doctors to make this decision.
3. Post-Delivery - that babies are healthy. I don't have huge concerns there, but you never really know right?
4. Leaving the hospital - what do I really know about raising babies??? Absolutely nothing. I've never held a newborn, let alone be left to care for TWO virtually on my own. Are they really going to let me leave the hospital with these creatures in my care? What are they thinking?
5. Crying - what if they start crying and I've done all the logical things and they still cry? What then?
6. Breastfeeding - I really want to do it. But know the challenges of breastfeeding exclusively with twins. Will perseverance be enough to make it work? If we use bottles every so often will it cause nipple confusion and then babies won't take the breast? If we don't use bottles, will my husband miss out on that opportunity to bond & care for babies?
7. Names - we still haven't really decided on name for baby #2. Ken thinks we have, but I'm not convinced that I love the name. The 2nd names for both babies are decided on, but the 1st name for baby #2 is up in the air. Actually I'm sure that Ken knows that I'm waffling becasue every night I give him other suggestions. And he keeps saying, but i thought we'd decided on....
8. Marriage - how will having babies affect my marriage? Especially given my drive to have these children and Ken's not so drive to have them? Will he resent the impact they will have on our lives?
9. Career - will I be able to go back to work in a year and find that balance between family & career? I honestly love my job / career, but I think I'll love the family thing more. I just wish we had more $$ to make staying home an option. But it truly isn't. And what about ken's tennis career... it is possible that having babies this year will screw up that future for him. He has only just made the national development team but is not focusing very well on his training. I fear that he'll be kicked off the team and will lose that opportunity forever. I do not want to be responsible for that. He has never hinted that he is resentful or anything, it is my own guilt talking
10. Motherhood - and what if I hate it??? I have not enjoyed the pregnancy thing which I worked so hard to achieve. What if I hate the motherhood thing too? Then what? Then I've screwed ALL of our lives for something that I hate.
11. Money - we'll be seriously lacking in it for at least a year. That has a huge stress level attached to it. But there isn't much I can do about it, except continue to go into debt. ouch. Other people manage with much less income than we do - how???? Especially with kids. I just don't get it. I mean, we have done everything right in life (school, careers, life choices) so why do we struggle so much financially????

So - those are a few of my worries. Anyone out there to set my mind at ease????