Nobody said it was going to be easy, but seriously now...

I am now 16 weeks + 5 days pregnant, well and truly entrenched in the 2nd Trimester. "They" say that 2nd Trimester is easier than the 1st, that you feel better & more energetic, less nauseous, and the aches and pains of the 3rd Tri haven't hit you yet. Can I say that if this is supposed to be the "GOOD" trimester, am I ever in trouble for #3!!!!???!!

I am feeling WAY worse than in the 1st. I am completely exhausted, beyond anything I've ever experienced before in my life. My back hurts, my leg hurts, my head often hurts, my neck hurts (is that car accident, or baby related?) I am emotional, stressed, annoyed constantly. I'm not sleeping well (related to the exhaustion perhaps?) I am sick, really and truly sick. I've got something in my lungs for which my Dr. put me on antibiotics. I'm coughing constantly. My throat hurts and my side/back hurt from coughing. I just want that to go away. And I am VERY tired of having a sniffly nose!!!! I should invest in Kleenex, because then at least I'd be benefiting from my pain & suffering.

And right now, I would just like this pregnancy to be over.

Can I fast forward to week 32 please? Speaking of which, I'm almost 1/2 way through.

Anyway - this is why I've been absent lately. I've just been too tired at the end of the day, and too busy during the day, to post. Somebody please tell me that I will feel better soon?

I know that noboday ever said that pregnancy was easy, but nobody, and I mean NOBODY ever told me how hard it would be!!!! It's a conspiracy, I swear!

No Pot of Gold at the End of the Rainbow...

I can tell you with authority that there is no pot of gold at the end of the rainbow. I know this because I saw the end of the rainbow today.

Riding home on the skytrain today, I looked up out of the window and there in the sky over east Vancouver was the most brilliant rainbow I have ever seen in my life. It was a rainbow from my childhood dreams - fluorescent brilliant colours and perfect in every way. There was a faint double rainbow beside it, but it was the the primary rainbow that got me to the core. I could see both ends of them - and there was no pot of gold.

I had been having a bad day... just feeling out of sorts, exhausted to the core, and sore from neck to ankle. For no particular reason. I'd even had good things happen today (more on that later) but was still feeling out of sorts. Yesterday someone came into the office with a 3 week old baby and it made me so terrified to my core. I have no idea what I'm doing having a baby - 2 no less! I mean, I'm thrilled that it has finally happened, but I have no idea how to take care of a baby. Anyway, so I was worrying about that when I looked up and saw the rainbow.

This is the 2nd time in my life that I've seen a rainbow like this. Not as strong as this one, but the last time I saw a rainbow when I was worrying about something, was on December 4th, driving home from the insemmination. I was worrying about the fact that this was the last chance, that I would have to give it all up if it was unsuccessful again. When I looked over a field beside the highway and there was a rainbow. It just made me feel good and calm, as if it was going to be okay. And it was.

So today, after seeing the rainbow, I felt my first baby kicks. At least, I think that's what they were. And it WAS kind of reassuring to know that they are alive in there, that everything is okay. I haven't told Ken though... I just want to keep this to myself for a little bit. How selfish is that?

Okay - so what other good news did i get today? I got a call from ICBC (the Insurance Corporation of BC - the sole provider of car insurance in this province). My car accident that went to a COMMITTEE to decide whether or not I would be covered for personal damages (injuries to me, etc.) ... WHAT A RIDICULOUS RULE!!!!!!!! But don't get me started! The committee has met and decided to cover my costs. Yay me! Now I need to track my pains even more so that when they try to settle I can argue my case a bit more.

Enough... Good night all.